In June, she followed him around my kitchen table, waving the red paddle he’d bought her two years ago. Her name was written on the handle in permanent marker, but the ink was already starting to fade around the edges.
They had been kayaking a few times and Maya loved it.
You said we were going this weekend, Danny.
His name was engraved on the strap.
“I said, weather permitting,” my son replied.
The weather is nice. I checked.
Daniel laughed and put down the bags.
She checked, Mom. She’s eleven years old and she’s the one who checked the weather forecast.
I handed her the coffee. “You spoil her too much.”
Someone has to do it.
She checked, mom.
Maya went to get her water shoes, and we were alone in the kitchen for a moment. Then I saw Daniel’s phone vibrate on the counter for the third time.
He looked at her, frowned, then stepped out onto the back deck to answer.
It took him some time.
When he returned, he somehow avoided my gaze.
I noticed Daniel’s cell phone vibrating on the kitchen counter.
“Is everything okay, honey?” I asked him.
It’s just a matter of work. You know how it is.
I knew. Or at least I thought I knew.
I watched as he picked up Mai’s paddle, which was leaning against the wall, and slowly turned it over in his hands, as if reading something written on it in a language only he understood.
“Is everything okay, honey?”
“I?”
My son looked at me and smiled the same smile he had given me since I was little.
“We’re leaving at 8 a.m., Mom. The river is 40 minutes away, so it’ll be a day trip. I’ve driven this route at least twelve times.”
***
I waved to them from the balcony as they walked down the aisle, Mai’s red paddle sticking out of the backseat like a little flag.
I never thought Daniel would come back without her.
My son looked at me and smiled.
***
Daniel returned home at 4:00 p.m.
I was folding laundry in the living room when I heard the truck door slam. Then nothing. Not a sound. Not even the squeak of the screen door.
I walked to the window and my knees almost gave out before I realized why.
My son was standing in the hallway, soaking wet,
