And because I finally understood that keeping my family together could no longer mean keeping my child exposed to someone who had already chosen to cause harm.
When I returned to the waiting area, my wife was gone.
For a moment, I thought she had left.
Then the nurse pointed toward the hallway.
“She asked to speak to you privately.”
I followed her to a quiet corner.
My wife was standing near a window.
She didn’t turn around.
“I didn’t come here to hurt the baby again,” she said.
I stayed silent.
“I came because I thought you would take me home.”
That sentence told me more than anything else she had said.
She hadn’t come to repair what she had done. matghdhach azbu
She had come to undo the consequences.
“I’m not taking you home,” I said.
She finally turned around.
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m your wife.”
“And I’m the baby’s father.”
She stared at me.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke.
Then she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her phone.
“There’s something you don’t know.”
My stomach tightened.
She unlocked the screen.
“I didn’t tell you everything before the baby was born.”
I looked at her phone.
“What do you mean?”
She swallowed.
“The day before we came home from the hospital, I made a decision.”
“What decision?”
She looked toward the hallway where our baby was sleeping.
“I was going to leave.”
I waited.
“But I didn’t leave because I knew you’d keep the baby.”
Her voice dropped.
“And I knew if I left, everyone would say I abandoned my child.”
I felt the air leave my lungs.
“So you stayed?”
She nodded.
“I tried to make myself feel something.”
“And when you couldn’t?”
matghdhach azbu
Her eyes filled with tears.
“I blamed the baby.”
There was nothing I could say to make that less terrible.
She wiped her face.
“I thought if you saw how miserable I was, you’d choose me.”
“You made me choose by putting our child in danger.”
She looked down.
“I know.”
The hallway suddenly filled with footsteps.
A hospital staff member approached us and asked me to come with them.
My wife looked up.
“Why?”
The staff member answered carefully.
“Someone from outside is here asking questions about the baby.”
I frowned.
“Who?”
She hesitated.
“Your wife’s mother.”
My wife went completely still.
I looked at her.
“You called your mother?”
She shook her head.
“No.”
